Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
