We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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