What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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