i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
