marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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