The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize