okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
that may or may not have been my penis.
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