I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
