Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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