mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
