I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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