hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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