dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
