I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
