Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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