dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
