He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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