Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
