Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
