i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
