I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
