I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
