My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
