Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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