Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize