Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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