rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
