Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
