i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
