My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
