I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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