I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
