i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
