I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
