I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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