Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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