ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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