i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and she was petting her beer can
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize