i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
