he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
