Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
