i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
