He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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