Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize