it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
