i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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