I'm eating all of the evidence.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex