If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.