I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?