Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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