I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
