mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
