Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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