haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize