I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
