Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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