3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
