You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
