what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
