k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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