I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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